Communication
I Hear What You Are Not Saying
"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." --Peter Drucker
Do You Mean . . .
"Say what you mean, mean
what you say, and don't be mean when you say it." --Meryl Runion
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How Many Times Can You Say Nothing?
"I've got nothing to say
and I'm only going to say it once!" --Casey Stengel
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Silent and Listen
SILENT and LISTEN are
spelled with the same letters. Coincidence?
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What a Dialogue is Not
"Two monologues don't
make a dialogue." --Unknown
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A Short Story
"I have a friend who's a
billionaire. He invented Cliff notes. When I asked him how he got such a great
idea, he said, 'Well first I...I just...to make a long story short....'"
--Comedian Steven Wright
Oxymorons
An oxymoron is a
combination of two words that contradict each other.
1.Exact opposite
2.Act naturally
3.Found missing
4.Genuine imitation
5.Good grief
6.Sanitary landfill
7.Alone together
8.Small crowd
9.Soft rock
10."Now, then..."
11.Peace force
12.Civil disobedience
13.Passive resistence
14.Numb feeling
15.Unbiased opinion
16.Jumbo shrimp
17.Only choice
18.Minor crisis
19.Boxing ring
20.Almost exactly
21.Deafening silence
22.Clearly confused
23.Liquid gas
24.Same difference
25.Freezer burn
26.Rolling stop
27.Plastic glasses
28.Political science
29.Tight slacks
30.Definite maybe
31.Pretty ugly
32.Rap music
33.Politically correct
and lastly. . .
34.Microsoft Works
Proactive vs. Reactive
A young son
and his father were walking in the mountains. The father said, “Why don’t you
yell and see if anyone is out there?”
So the
little boy yelled, “Helllooooooo. . .”
To his
surprise, he hears a voice answering, “Helllooooooo. . .”
Curious, he
yells back, "Who are you?"
He receives
the answer: "Who are you?"
Angered at
the response, he screams: "You’re an idiot!"
He hears
the reply: "You’re an idiot!"
He looks to
his father and asks, "What's going on?"
The father
explained that he’s hearing an echo, and whatever he says will be repeated back
to him. Then the dad yelled into the valley, “I think you’re great!”
The voice
answers, “I think you’re great!”
The father
turned to his son and explained: "The way you talk to others is a lot like this
echo. If you’re angry and yell at them, they will yell back. But if you will say
nice things to them, they will respond in the same way to you.” --Author Unknown
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Crockett’s Sermon Illustrations,
www.kentcrockett.com
Complaining
Stop Thanking and Start Complaining
A friend of
mine lives on the coast of Florida a few miles from Kennedy Space Center. I told
him, “It must be fun watching the space shuttle launches and going to the beach
all the time.”
“I never go
to the beach,” he replied. “I don’t even go outside my house to watch the space
shuttle launch.”
“You’re
kidding me. Why?” I asked.
“I’ve seen
them so many times it’s no big deal.”
When we see
the same blessings every day, we eventually stop noticing them.
When we
stop noticing, we quit appreciating.
When we
quit appreciating, we stop thanking.
When we
stop thanking, we start complaining.
(Kent
Crockett, I Once Was Blind But Now I Squint, Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers,
2004, 160-161)
Getting Used to Blessings
Carol
decided she wanted to do something nice for her neighbor Mrs. Smith, so she
baked a pie and carried it next door. When Mrs. Smith opened up her door, she
was surprised to see her holding a pie. She replied, "For me? Oh, thank you so
much! You just don't know how much I appreciate it! You are so thoughtful for
doing this! Thank you!"
Because
Mrs. Smith liked the pie so much, Carol decided the next week to bake her
another one. When she took it over, Mrs. Smith opened the door and said, "Thank
you so much. You are so kind!"
Carol took
another pie over the following week. Mrs. Smith simply replied, "Thanks."
Carol took
another pie over the next week, and Mrs. Smith responded, "You are a day late
with that pie."
The
following week, Carol baked her another pie. This time her neighbor said, "Try
using a little more sugar and don't bake it quite as long. The crust has been a
little bit hard lately. And I'd like cherry instead of apple filling next time."
The next
week Carol was so busy, she was unable to cook for her neighbor. When Carol
passed by her house on the way to the store, Mrs. Smith looked through the
window and noticed she wasn't carrying a pie. She then stuck her head out the
window and yelled, "Where's my pie?!"
It's so easy to get used to our blessings. After enjoying them for a while, we begin to think we deserve them. Then instead of being thankful, we complain. It's a process that occurs so slowly, we don't even realize it's happening. (Kent Crockett, The 911 Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 157-158)
The Pessimist Who Found Money
A pessimistic man spotted
some money crumpled up on the ground. He picked it up, unwadded it, and
discovered it was a $1 bill.
"That's just my luck,"
the man complained. "If someone else had found this, it would have been a $5
bill!"
Complainers look at the
negative side of every situation. They don't give thanks for what they have, but
gripe because it's not more. Are you thankful, or a complainer?
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Complaining is like bad breath
"Complaining
is like bad breath, you notice it when it comes out of somebody else's mouth,
but not your own." --Will Bowen
Compromise
Staying Neutral
"What you allow, you encourage." --Unknown
Planting in Dirt
Compromise is planting
God's flowers in the devil's dirt. --Kent Crockett
Conscience
My, How Things Have Changed
A few years ago, young women blushed if they were embarrassed. Today, they are embarrassed if they blush. --Reader's Digest
Alarm Clock & Pillow
Conscience is like an
alarm clock that goes off when we do wrong.
A seared conscience is
like putting a pillow over our ears so we won't hear it.
1 Tim. 5:2--". . .By
means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a
branding iron."
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Conscious vs. Conscience
A mother asked her son if
he knew the difference between "conscious" and "conscience."
He said, "Sure, Mom.
Conscious is when you're aware of something. Conscience is when you wish you
weren't."
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Content
Getting Along with Skunks
The grizzly
bear is the meanest animal in the forest. It can terminate the life of any other
creature with one swipe of its paw. There is one animal that the grizzly bear
will not attack. He has even allowed this animal to eat with him, even though it
is his adversary.
The animal
I am talking about is the skunk. The grizzly bear does not like the skunk, but
he has decided it is better to coexist with him than to create a stink!
Sometimes it is better to learn how to get along with the skunk in your life
than fight him and make your situation even worse. (Kent Crockett, The 911
Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 23)
Wanting Everything You Have
Contentment is not having everything we want, but wanting everything we have. (Kent Crockett, The 911 Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 26)
Changing Jobs
Several
years ago my friend, Phil, interviewed for a job in Wichita, Kansas. After
thoroughly researching the situation, he wasn’t sure what to do. He had grown
tired of his job and wanted to move away, but something didn’t seem right about
this new potential employer. He suspected some possible problems, so he
reluctantly withdrew his name from consideration and remained at his job.
For the
next two years, Phil continually kicked himself for turning down the job. Every
time something went wrong at his workplace, he thought about how happy he
would’ve been if he had taken the position in Wichita.
Then one
day, on a flight to Chicago, a businessman sat down next to him. As they
conversed, Phil asked him what he did for a living. The man shared he had taken
a job two years earlier in Wichita but absolutely hated it—almost daily there
was trouble in the office. It didn’t talk long for Phil to realize that this man
had accepted the position at the company where he had applied two years earlier!
Phil was
flabbergasted. For two long years he thought he had made a mistake by turning
down the job. Instead, he discovered that God had protected him from a horrible
nightmare. Seemingly, the Lord had arranged this divine appointment to reveal
the agony he would’ve experienced if he had taken the job. He should have been
thanking God during those two years instead of regretting his decision.
(Kent
Crockett, I Once Was Blind But Now I Squint, Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers,
2004, 21-22)
Nicer Golf Course
A nicer golf course won't make you a
better golfer. A nicer environment won't make you a better person. --Kent
Crockett
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www.kentcrockett.com )
Counseling
Choosing Your Advisors
Two bums,
both broke and destitute, were sitting on a park bench. One said, "I'm a man who
never took advice from anybody."
The other
bum said, "Shake, old buddy. I'm a man who followed everybody's advice!" If we
are not selective in choosing our counselors, it will lead to our ruin. (Kent
Crockett, The 911 Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 130)
The Migraine Headache
A woman was
heavily burdened with problems and decided to go see a counselor. She explained,
"I've got so many problems they are giving me a migraine headache."
The
counselor said, "Please sit down and tell me about it."
She sat
down and began to unload her problems for three hours. When she was finished,
she said, "I feel so much better now. My headache has disappeared!"
The
counselor replied, "No it hasn't. I've got it now." (Kent Crockett, The 911
Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 167)
Trying to Get Free Advice
A doctor
and lawyer were at a party. The doctor said, “You know, Barry, I hate it when
people come up to me at a party and start asking me to diagnose their health
problems. Then they expect me to give them free advice instead of coming to my
clinic. What do you do when that happens?”
The lawyer
said, “I send them a bill the next day saying: ‘Fees incurred at party last
night--$45.’ That stops it every time.”
“That’s a
great idea,” the doctor said. “I’ll try it.”
Two days
later the doctor received a bill in the mail: “Fees incurred at party last
night--$45.”
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Crockett's Sermon Illustrations,
www.kentcrockett.com
I Hate Advice
“I hate advice unless I’m
giving it.” --Jack Nicholson, actor Reader’s
Digest, April 2004, p.73